khuioduan | [Video] - Middle of the night...

Perhaps I haven't been sleeping enough. [Padparadscha has a somewhat consistent tone of amusement to their voice, so they're hardly going to judge anyone else for handling things that way.]

Someone named Faias. A male, I think. [Padparadscha isn't exactly experienced in identifying that sort of thing.]

Because of the dreams?

[ Logical conclusion to the ninja. Some people react differently to nightmares. After all, it took three to get to her. Besides, she doesn't know what Padparadscha had dreamed about in those two visions. ]

You're not sure? Were the dreams of only sounds? Darkness? Nothing else?

[ That's kind of creepy right there--and she's a ninja. ]

Because I don't sleep in the same way living things do. [Or for the same reasons, really. They don't require sleep so much as it just happens to be a useful state for when it's difficult to sustain themselves on the available light levels.]

No. I'm just still not that familiar with how to identify one or the other. Humans and living creatures like them are strange in that way.

[Gems are genderless anyway, so the main notion Padparadscha has of gender is that it's something to do with how living things make more of themselves.]

Living things? You're not alive? [ Sure fooled Sheena! ]

Oh. I see. Well, hmmm. Usually, men can grow facial hair above their lips and on their chins. And sometimes their voices are deeper, but it's usually body parts that show the most difference.

[ And she's just going to blush a little here.

And where was Raine when she needed her? ]

I'm animate, of course, but alive, not exactly. [To live, as far as Padparadscha has learnt since being here, also means to die, and death has no meaning for gems like themselves.

That description makes Padparadscha laugh a little, though.] But not all of the men I've seen have that extra hair, and not all of the women have those fleshy bulbs on their chests. It's the variety that makes it more interesting, but also more difficult.

So, you're like an android? [ Tabatha had been an android, and she had almost been destroyed. Wouldn't that be the same thing?

Her response makes Sheena chuckle and blush slightly. ] True those bulbs on a woman's chest tend to make things easier, but there's also something that's more common in men than women.

[ She points to her neck just below her chin. ]

Most men have a lump here.

[That makes Padparadscha laugh even harder, a rolling, jovial thing.] Androids are the ones built of metal and wire, right? Not quite. I am of the earth.

[It's useful to note the mention of the throat lump, too, even if it sounds strange - and even if they're quite sure they've seen young humans without anything of the sort even if they've called themselves male. But for now, it seems like it may be convenient to make their position clearer.]

I could try to explain my lack of understanding of living things in words, but I think this might be easier.

[After another moment or two, the video feed on the yimo comes on, revealing Padparadscha's upper half. Their skin is white as porcelain, to the point of almost appearing artificial, and their shirt is open to reveal a chest bare of any kind of lumps or human features at all, but full of various holes plugged with what appears to be pink-orange gemstone. Their eyes and hair are the same colour, and though their hair falls around their face naturally enough, it's clear it lacks "strands" so much as being made up of thin slivers of gem that skitter and skim along each other as they move. They might be human-shaped, but it's quite clear they're not human, probably some kind of rock, and visibly genderless.]

Well, the last one I met was, yes. [ The metal part, at least. She's not so sure about the wires. ]

Of...the earth?

[ From the way "earth" is said, the word is referring to the ground and not the planet. So...a golem? Before the ninja can ask, Padparadscha is proving her right with the "demonstration", but it's not that that makes the ninja's eyes widen in surprise. ]

Oh! [ She turns on the video on her end, revealing her reddened cheeks. ] I just thought you were having trouble because... But it's... [ Okay, enough stammering. ] You...don't have a gender, do you? [ She facepalms out of embarrassment. ] I hope I'm not insulting you by my reaction--I've never met anyone like you before.

[ And instead of hurling insults, the ninja is accepting and even admiring the colors and the way they shimmer in the light.

She overcomes her embarrassment to offer a friendly smile. ] Well, now that I know why you're having trouble, maybe we can come up with a different method for you to figure it out.

[ Yep. Still going to help. ]

[Sheena's embarrassed reaction just gets another laugh out of Padparadscha, this one a bit softer in mind of not embarrassing her too much more.]

I've been here for a few months now, so I've seen all sorts of reactions to me by now. But no, my people don't have gender. We have no need to make more of ourselves like living things do.

[Which is Padparadscha's primary understanding of what gender is "for", based on what they've seen of living things.]

I feel as if it's something born of experience, so if nothing comes to you, then it's not a problem. The time it takes will most likely pass in the blink of an eye to me.

[ Thank you. She's embarrassed enough as it is--and also smart enough to know Padparadscha isn't egging it on with her laughter.

But embarrassment gives way easily to concern. ]

All sorts of reactions? Has anyone tried to harm you or anything? [ Meet Sheena Fujibayashi, Protector of Everyone. Still, she can't help a friendly chuckle at the way Padparadscha describes procreation. ] That's one way of putting it, I guess.

[ Well, that's the primary reason, so they're not too far off. ]

So, no more of you are "made" in any way?

[ That's sad to the ninja. ]

Hmmm. You never know, it just might come to me when I least expect it. But, I'm curious. Are you immortal?

No, but I'd have little to worry about from something like that anyway. [Padparadscha almost seems amused at the implication, especially since they're not only stone in appearance. Corundum is only outstripped in hardness by diamond itself, so anything of flesh and bone doesn't present much of a threat to them.]

We are formed, but it's a rare thing. Often a hundred or more years pass between the emergence of new gems. As you suspect, though, we have no concept of death in the way living things do. We continue to exist, regardless of other things.

[They can be taken away and ground into dust, but even that isn't true "death" to them. And if the dust can be gathered together again, they can be reborn, even if it takes time.]

I see. Still, be careful. [ Don't underestimate people, Padparadscha. They can usually find a way to destroy something or someone they don't know or understand. Or prevent them from returning. ]

Hmmm. But... [ And she shakes her head. ] But, if you're long-lived, wouldn't that actually be considered more "the next generation" than a rarity?

And no concept of death... [ She shakes her head, uncertain. ] I'm not sure if that would be a good thing or a bad thing for those of flesh and blood.

[It's difficult to underestimate the ingenuity of potential enemies after 3700 years of fighting, but Padparadscha doesn't feel the need to make that obvious.]

We all live in the same place and learn the same things, and filter out into the same roles. A "generation" sounds more like what living things do.

It doesn't sound as if death is looked upon well by the living, in any case.

[ It can still happen, though. People do tend to be predictable in being unpredictable.

Sheena chuckles. ]

I hate to tell you this, but that's kind of what living beings do, too. So, we sound like we have more things alike than different.

[ She shakes her head. ]

For most of the living, no. Death is not something they want. For some, they see it as a reward.

I've seen a great many different things since I came here, so perhaps it's just me not explaining myself well. [Padparadscha doesn't seem too bothered by it, though. Ultimately, it's not a real concern, more a point of interest.

Though they raise a brow at the mention of death being seen as a reward, they don't appear surprised. They're quite familiar enough with the feeling of not wanting to exist if it would burden someone else, so perhaps living things feel the same way at times also.]

Oh? And what kinds of people think of it that way?

Or, I've seen a lot between the places I've been and can't help but look for similarities? [ That, and she's somewhat stubborn. Not to mention somewhat simple. ]

Well, [ And she pauses. How to explain what she means? ] For some people, they feel that if they've lived right and worshipped their god or goddess right, then they'd be rewarded with eternal life next to them in Heaven.

As opposed to spending eternal damnation in Hell paying for their sins.

[ The idea of self-termination hadn't even occurred to her. Yet. ]

[Padparadscha isn't exactly familiar with the idea of gods besides what they've learnt in Aifaran, so the point doesn't entirely click with them the way it might for others.]

You'd think living right would mean living to their full potential. You could say that an ending is just a new beginning, but for living things, it doesn't seem to be that simple.

[They've met undead beings and people who've mentioned meeting ghosts and similar sorts of things here. It seems to be a less than straightforward situation, based on what Padparadscha's learnt.]

[ Sheena's own opinion on gods has been shaken over the past several years, but she doesn't hold anything against anyone who worships them.

Sheena's eyes widen. ]

Are you sure you don't understand living things? Because that's exactly how some people look at it! They lived their lives to the fullest, did the best they could, and when their lives end--they have eternal life. [ She pauses. ] Though, not the same way as you race. Is that what you mean by it not being simple?

[ Undead and ghosts fall into the "unfinished business" category for people--which Sheena will be happy to explain. ]

Something like that. I've heard a lot of different things about what death means while I've been here, so it doesn't sound like it's all that straightforward after death, does it? [Eternal life after death just sounds like death may as well not exist at all, which makes Padparadscha wonder about how true it all might be. They have at least met people who've spoken specifically of things like ghosts or who are undead, so they know forms of it must exist, but they seem to be conditional.]

[ Sheena has to chuckle. ]

No, it really isn't that straightforward--especially when you have people from different races and cultures in one place. They all have different ideas about what happens after, but in a way, it's kind of the same, since there are both good and bad results.

[ Ghosts may fall into the latter category.

She chuckles. ]

If it helps, sometimes living beings are confused by our own beliefs.

If you have so many of them, then it's no wonder. [Having a small society like the one Padparadscha came from has its advantages, like not having to worry about contradictory beliefs. Or not usually, at least. Recent times have been a little different.]

I think I'll come to my own decision about it with time, but we've been here for barely the blink of an eye as it is.

[ Sheena waves a hand to indicate Aifaran. ] I was actually talking about here. There are a lot of different cultures, but there are also a lot of similarities.

Maybe by focusing on those will help. [ She chuckles. ] "Blink of an eye"? I think some people may disagree with you on that, but I know what you mean.

That's what I meant, yes. ["You" as in "you living things", not "you personally", though Padparadscha can see where the mistake would have come from.]

I'm well aware of that, but the lifespan of a living thing is rather fleeting in my experience, so it's natural that our opinions on the passage of time would be different.

[ Sheena shakes her head. ]

I should have realized. I'm sorry, but I had actually thought you meant universally--different planets. [ Though she's not sure why. ]

Hmmm... Maybe not. Our opinions on the passage of time are pretty relative, aren't they? For example, to someone who is 2000 years old, someone in their 80's would be like a child--just as someone in their teens would be a child to the one who's 80.

[Video] - Middle of the night...

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voice > video

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cw: suicidal ideation

cw: suicidal ideation

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