khuioduan | ☞ FIRST TESTIMONY ☜

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☞ FIRST TESTIMONY ☜

[There is a slight jostling of the screen upon activation. A slightly diagonal and mostly upside-down view of the surrounding area, before the screen was pulled back, revealing an elderly woman with a furrowed brow and pursed lips. She appeared to be inspecting the hand-held device given to her, and while adapting to new technologies was not quite beyond her skill set...after a pause, she relaxed just enough to indicate paranoia as her motivator rather than confusion.]

Good. It seems to be working just as they said.

[A moment to clear her throat, before she puts on a "professional" air, her tone steady and her words spoken with conviction.]

If anyone can hear me, my name is Wendy Oldbag, and I'd like to report a kidnapping. Specifically, my own. [She paused just long enough to look around her, clearly dissatisfied by what she saw.] I recognize none of the landmarks, but if the names Aifaran and Quayside mean anything, that should alert the proper authorities to where they've taken me. Though not before attempting to silence me with a pitiful amount of cash and this hand-held "yimi" thingamajiggy.

[A scoff]

Their mistake. Nothing and no one can silence me! And you can be sure I'll have my darling Edgey-poo add bribery to the list of charges when he prosecutes these no-good kidnappers. Oh, the look on his face when he sees me again. I'm sure he's very worried about me. Which is why the local authorities need to hurry up. I need to be back at work trying to fix the Hotel's reputation after that awful murder case.

[She paused, and one last thought came to mind:]

...you know, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if that awful Engarde was behind this. I'm sure he wanted revenge for my invaluable assistance in getting him convinced.

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[Have a smiling redhead.]

Uh. You-- haven't been kidnapped? Not in the traditional sense, anyway. Seriously, this is kind of a thing that's been happening to people for a while. And you're not where you came from, you're in a different world, like the people at the Dreaming Bridge said.

Trust me, I know how it sounds. This isn't the first time this has happened to me. It's weird. But it can also be super cool? Oh, I'm Pepper, by the way. Who's, uh, 'Edgy-poo'?

[Saying the name out loud is strange.]

[Hello, smiling redhead. Oldbag was...not going to smile in return. But she would listen. Expression neutral and alert, it was difficult to tell precisely how she was reacting to the news. Whether or not she believed Pepper and precisely how displeased she was by further validation of what her "kidnappers" had been claiming all along--]

[But, of course, all that changed the moment Pepper uttered that beautiful moniker. The fire in her eyes ignited, and one could practically see the sparkles surrounding her as she sighed dreamily.]

Only the most handsome, brilliant prosecutor this side of the law. I wouldn't expect a youngster like you to recognize him right away--you certainly don't seem like the type who gets into much trouble--but I can assure you that if you ever chose to commit a crime, he would do everything in his power to make sure you spend the rest of your days locked up where you belong!

[Her shoulders twitched as the blush in her cheeks grew more prominent. A very girlish chuckle escaped her lips, which she vainly attempted to hide behind one hand.]

Even just thinking about him makes me feel better about all this nonsense. If there's one bright side, it'll be getting to see him in the courtroom again.

Um.

[Well, that sure was an explanation.]

I mean, I'm all for keeping up to date on who's on the side of justice. That's kind of my job, too-- not a lawyer, but fighting bad guys, protecting people, that kind of thing. [She's also definitely committed crimes but that's besides the point.] I'm glad thinking of him makes you feel better? Sounds like he's not the stuffy sort of lawyer. My best friend's mom would probably get along with him, Mrs. Rhodes is a lawyer, too.

[There was a momentary eyeing up and down of Pepper. At her age, it was difficult to discern other people's ages because everyone looked 'young' to her...but then again, that assistant with the strange clothing had looked even younger. ]

[Although all thoughts of age and job description were momentary brushed aside, because there was a very important error in the young lady's statement. One that required the type of semantical correction that--much as she loathed to admit--would have made that spikey-haired whippersnapper proud.]

Oh, no, dearie, he's no lawyer. He's a prosecutor. A bit on the stuffier side, perhaps, but only to those who don't see the real him beneath the ascot.

Riiiiight. [Pepper isn't sure how critical the distinction is, because she's fairly certain that a prosecutor is also still a lawyer, and the name just indicates the type of law, but sure.] Sure. Prosecutor, then.

Pretty sure they don't have prosecutors here, though. Their system seems different. Why does he wear an ascot?

[Critical enough where she comes from, to the point where the roles literally were not (legally) allowed to cross over. Even though...there were times in court where it was difficult to discern who was attempting to prosecute and who was trying to defend the person on the stand.]

[But, anyways, her point was that prosecutors were better.]

I never thought to ask, really. I suppose he considers it part of his uniform as a prestigious man of the courtroom.

[Of course they were. Pepper's just mostly on the ass-kicking side of law-enforcement.]

Well, it's a style choice. Not everyone can pull an ascot off and still look reasonable. I'll just have to take your word for it.

...his name's not really 'Edgy-poo', right? That's a nickname?

[Oldbag would like to think she was too. Which, to a degree, she actually was. Just maybe not quite as ass-kicking as Pepper.]

Miles Edgeworth is his true name. "Edgey-poo" just rolls off the tongue so much more effectively when I'm showing him the depths of my admiration.

[They could always get Oldbag some power armor and see what happens.]

You call him that to his face? [Well, props to the lady, she's not afraid to show her feelings.] I guess there are worse nicknames you can give someone. Do you work for him?

Oh, he loves it!

[She very nearly giggles at the thought, remembering those precious expressions on his face each time they re-meet.]

No, I don't work for him. But our paths do cross often. I'm a Security Guard.

[Pepper isn't really convinced, but Edgeworth isn't here to dispute the claim.]

Really? [She is surprised but in a good way.] Huh. That's cool. I mean, that's kind of unusual, but I guess you wouldn't still be working as a guard if you couldn't do the job. How long have you done that? Do you get to carry a taser?

[One can not object in cross-examination without sufficient evidence!]

Unfortunately not. [She sighed a little, rubbing at her forehead a moment before grinning.] Any weapons carried in the line of duty must be non-lethal, but I personally never saw the harm in a light zap here or there. It always set those nosy troublemakers quick into shape.

As for how long...oh, gosh, it's been so many years. I'm afraid I've lost count.

[Pepper stifles the urge to snicker.] Yeah, but there's plenty of ways to give people a kick in the pants. There are ones you can get that can only shock people, there's like a limiter on the voltage or whatever.

That's a lot of dedication. Most people don't stay in the same job for more than a handful of years. You must really love it.

[Pepper did have a point. Heck, she wouldn't object to giving them a literal kick. She'd do it, too. Without hesitation or lack of ability.]

It's not about love. It's about dedication. Honor. Respect. For some of those studios, I would be the last line of defense. I shudder to think what they would have done with someone less committed to their duties.

[All of this was spoken with a deeply serious expression. Until she paused. The corners of her lips twitching upward in an almost mischievous smile as she leaned forward and added:]

Although I could not complain about all the handsome actors such a position has allowed me to meet over the years.

Oh, you work security at a studio? That's super cool. I think Dedication and respect can still all sort of get rolled up into love, though. I mean, if you don't really enjoy what you're doing, then it's probably about time to find something that you do enjoy.

[She returns the impishness. Oldbag may be, well, old, but Pepper can get on board with appreciating handsomeness.] Yeah, cute actors is definitely a good perk. Are there a lot of people that try to get into studios like yours? I guess they'd wanna see the cute actors, too.

I suppose you have a point, dear. Wise words for someone as young as yourself.

About love and the trespassing. [Pleased as she was by Pepper, a dark shadow momentary crossed her features as she thought of some of the less honorable parts of her profession.] Though I would hardly say they were there to admire the visual beauty of those beneath the mask.

More often than not, it was a couple snot-nosed brats who think they could outwit me into snapping a few photographs without permission.

[Why does everyone have to be so loud]

You have not been kidnapped.

[Please. This is her inside voice. ~~Even though she was currently outside.~~]

I hope you're not trying to pull one of those semantic-based arguments, like a certain pointy-haired lawyer I know, because I am not in the mood for being cross-examined again.

Goodness...

[Boy that's an unpleasant chuckle his has. Absolutely cold and mirthless.]

What a dreadful thing to accuse someone of. Lawyering.

[She actually cracked a smile at that, amused by the sheer loathing she was discerning from tone.]

Not a fan of lawyers, I'm guessing.

That can only mean two things. Either you've been pestered and humiliated enough times by one as I have...or else you've been accused of a crime and badly defended by one.

[Note she didn't say 'prosecuted'; prosecutors were completely different than lawyers where she came from, and a very important distinction to make.]

( What... do you even make of this? Sera struggles with her words, uncertain as to what to say, but she's already initiated contact so enjoy the visual of a little girl with a confused look on her face. )

Um... ( Is it really called a yimithingamajiggy? Everything she has known seems doubtful now. )

I don't think there's anyone you can report a kidnapping to.

[...]

[...]

[. . .]

Are you telling me there are no local police in the area? Not even a scuffy-looking detective?

[That doesn't sound right to her.]

There are policemen in the area. ( She saw something akin to them recently. )

I just don't think they care to hear of our complaints. That's all.

[That...sounded slightly more right, to be honest, though she folded her arms across her chest and proceeded to look disgusted.]

How appalling. Disgraces to the profession.

It does seem as though the odds are stacked against us. ( As an outsider to this realm, did anyone truly care about their rights? If not law enforcement, then who? )

You have people who will miss you?

( She recalls what she said about someone being worried. ) I'm sorry.

Not as sorry as every single person responsible for this sorry turn of events will be when I get my hands on them.

And for that matter, I think I'd like to have a word or two--[Or twenty thousand]--with these so-called "professionals". Which way is the police station?

Which way? (Generally if she wants to go somewhere, she just phases into the building. Sera hasn't had to walk anywhere for a long while.)

I don't know the answer to that. Sorry.

(At least she's polite about it.) Are you planning an assault on those responsible for bringing us here? I'm not sure they would appreciate hearing that.

Of course not.

[...maybe a little.]

I only intend on giving them the sternest talking to. [Or yelling.] You have my word.

That's good. I don't think any of us have enough of those coins to bail you out of trouble...

(Really, it'd just be mean on the officers' part to hold her accountable for her behavior. Who would put a lady her age in a cell?)

[Nobody decent, that's for sure. A fact she was counting on when it came to inadvertently disturbing the peace.]

Save your pocket change.

I'll be fine.

Very well, I will put my faith in your ability and wish you the best of luck.

(She dips her head at that.) If you need help, you can always ask. We don't have to approach these things alone now that we all have been brought here against our will.

[...]

[For all her protesting and countless issues with her current status, that comment alone was enough to ameliorate her temper. Somewhat. Enough for a firm nod in understanding. If they truly were co-captives in such an ordeal...]

I will remember that. Thank you.

Of course, miss. (She brings a hand up to wave for now.)

I won't take up any more of your time, but please. Don't be a stranger.

(She didn't even give a name. Sera's bad at this.)

I'm pretty sure it was "yimo", but I'm sure most people would get your meaning, ma'am.

[ Elizabeth is trying to be helpful. ]

What Hotel do you mean? The Midnight Hotel?

Edited 2018-01-20 00:11 (UTC)

[She waves a dismissive hand at the first part. yimo, yimi...the name of the device didn't matter so much to her as the fact it allowed her to communicate with others. Considering she seemed to be missing her phone at the moment, it was a small relief in this otherwise bizarre situation she'd found herself in.]

Not Midnight. Gatewater. Surely you must've heard of it; it's where the Hero of Heroes Grand Prix takes place. Lovely event. Shame about the way it all ended.

Gatewater, Gatewater... hmm, I don't think I've heard of it, but there's a lot of places that haven't been in my books, sadly.

What's the Hero of Heroes Grand Prix? It sounds exciting!

Oh, it is!

Murder aside, it's a fantastic place for those amazing gentleman to be rewarded for all their hard work. Just because they're hiding behind a mask on a children's show doesn't mean they're any less of a hero, you know?

[She was not ashamed to call herself a fan; she and the Detective had even watched one of those programs together over tea in the past.]

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☞ FIRST TESTIMONY ☜

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