WENDY OLDBAG (
watchmewhippersnapper) wrote in
khuioduan2018-01-16 08:28 pm
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☞ FIRST TESTIMONY ☜
[There is a slight jostling of the screen upon activation. A slightly diagonal and mostly upside-down view of the surrounding area, before the screen was pulled back, revealing an elderly woman with a furrowed brow and pursed lips. She appeared to be inspecting the hand-held device given to her, and while adapting to new technologies was not quite beyond her skill set...after a pause, she relaxed just enough to indicate paranoia as her motivator rather than confusion.]
Good. It seems to be working just as they said.
[A moment to clear her throat, before she puts on a "professional" air, her tone steady and her words spoken with conviction.]
If anyone can hear me, my name is Wendy Oldbag, and I'd like to report a kidnapping. Specifically, my own. [She paused just long enough to look around her, clearly dissatisfied by what she saw.] I recognize none of the landmarks, but if the names Aifaran and Quayside mean anything, that should alert the proper authorities to where they've taken me. Though not before attempting to silence me with a pitiful amount of cash and this hand-held "yimi" thingamajiggy.
[A scoff]
Their mistake. Nothing and no one can silence me! And you can be sure I'll have my darling Edgey-poo add bribery to the list of charges when he prosecutes these no-good kidnappers. Oh, the look on his face when he sees me again. I'm sure he's very worried about me. Which is why the local authorities need to hurry up. I need to be back at work trying to fix the Hotel's reputation after that awful murder case.
[She paused, and one last thought came to mind:]
...you know, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if that awful Engarde was behind this. I'm sure he wanted revenge for my invaluable assistance in getting him convinced.
Good. It seems to be working just as they said.
[A moment to clear her throat, before she puts on a "professional" air, her tone steady and her words spoken with conviction.]
If anyone can hear me, my name is Wendy Oldbag, and I'd like to report a kidnapping. Specifically, my own. [She paused just long enough to look around her, clearly dissatisfied by what she saw.] I recognize none of the landmarks, but if the names Aifaran and Quayside mean anything, that should alert the proper authorities to where they've taken me. Though not before attempting to silence me with a pitiful amount of cash and this hand-held "yimi" thingamajiggy.
[A scoff]
Their mistake. Nothing and no one can silence me! And you can be sure I'll have my darling Edgey-poo add bribery to the list of charges when he prosecutes these no-good kidnappers. Oh, the look on his face when he sees me again. I'm sure he's very worried about me. Which is why the local authorities need to hurry up. I need to be back at work trying to fix the Hotel's reputation after that awful murder case.
[She paused, and one last thought came to mind:]
...you know, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if that awful Engarde was behind this. I'm sure he wanted revenge for my invaluable assistance in getting him convinced.
video;
Uh. You-- haven't been kidnapped? Not in the traditional sense, anyway. Seriously, this is kind of a thing that's been happening to people for a while. And you're not where you came from, you're in a different world, like the people at the Dreaming Bridge said.
Trust me, I know how it sounds. This isn't the first time this has happened to me. It's weird. But it can also be super cool? Oh, I'm Pepper, by the way. Who's, uh, 'Edgy-poo'?
[Saying the name out loud is strange.]
video;
[But, of course, all that changed the moment Pepper uttered that beautiful moniker. The fire in her eyes ignited, and one could practically see the sparkles surrounding her as she sighed dreamily.]
Only the most handsome, brilliant prosecutor this side of the law. I wouldn't expect a youngster like you to recognize him right away--you certainly don't seem like the type who gets into much trouble--but I can assure you that if you ever chose to commit a crime, he would do everything in his power to make sure you spend the rest of your days locked up where you belong!
[Her shoulders twitched as the blush in her cheeks grew more prominent. A very girlish chuckle escaped her lips, which she vainly attempted to hide behind one hand.]
Even just thinking about him makes me feel better about all this nonsense. If there's one bright side, it'll be getting to see him in the courtroom again.
video;
[Well, that sure was an explanation.]
I mean, I'm all for keeping up to date on who's on the side of justice. That's kind of my job, too-- not a lawyer, but fighting bad guys, protecting people, that kind of thing. [She's also definitely committed crimes but that's besides the point.] I'm glad thinking of him makes you feel better? Sounds like he's not the stuffy sort of lawyer. My best friend's mom would probably get along with him, Mrs. Rhodes is a lawyer, too.
video;
[Although all thoughts of age and job description were momentary brushed aside, because there was a very important error in the young lady's statement. One that required the type of semantical correction that--much as she loathed to admit--would have made that spikey-haired whippersnapper proud.]
Oh, no, dearie, he's no lawyer. He's a prosecutor. A bit on the stuffier side, perhaps, but only to those who don't see the real him beneath the ascot.
video;
Pretty sure they don't have prosecutors here, though. Their system seems different. Why does he wear an ascot?
video;
[But, anyways, her point was that prosecutors were better.]
I never thought to ask, really. I suppose he considers it part of his uniform as a prestigious man of the courtroom.
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Well, it's a style choice. Not everyone can pull an ascot off and still look reasonable. I'll just have to take your word for it.
...his name's not really 'Edgy-poo', right? That's a nickname?
video;
Miles Edgeworth is his true name. "Edgey-poo" just rolls off the tongue so much more effectively when I'm showing him the depths of my admiration.
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You call him that to his face? [Well, props to the lady, she's not afraid to show her feelings.] I guess there are worse nicknames you can give someone. Do you work for him?
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[She very nearly giggles at the thought, remembering those precious expressions on his face each time they re-meet.]
No, I don't work for him. But our paths do cross often. I'm a Security Guard.
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Really? [She is surprised but in a good way.] Huh. That's cool. I mean, that's kind of unusual, but I guess you wouldn't still be working as a guard if you couldn't do the job. How long have you done that? Do you get to carry a taser?
video;
Unfortunately not. [She sighed a little, rubbing at her forehead a moment before grinning.] Any weapons carried in the line of duty must be non-lethal, but I personally never saw the harm in a light zap here or there. It always set those nosy troublemakers quick into shape.
As for how long...oh, gosh, it's been so many years. I'm afraid I've lost count.
video;
That's a lot of dedication. Most people don't stay in the same job for more than a handful of years. You must really love it.
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It's not about love. It's about dedication. Honor. Respect. For some of those studios, I would be the last line of defense. I shudder to think what they would have done with someone less committed to their duties.
[All of this was spoken with a deeply serious expression. Until she paused. The corners of her lips twitching upward in an almost mischievous smile as she leaned forward and added:]
Although I could not complain about all the handsome actors such a position has allowed me to meet over the years.
video;
[She returns the impishness. Oldbag may be, well, old, but Pepper can get on board with appreciating handsomeness.] Yeah, cute actors is definitely a good perk. Are there a lot of people that try to get into studios like yours? I guess they'd wanna see the cute actors, too.
video;
About love and the trespassing. [Pleased as she was by Pepper, a dark shadow momentary crossed her features as she thought of some of the less honorable parts of her profession.] Though I would hardly say they were there to admire the visual beauty of those beneath the mask.
More often than not, it was a couple snot-nosed brats who think they could outwit me into snapping a few photographs without permission.
Video
You have not been kidnapped.
Video
Even though she was currently outside.]I hope you're not trying to pull one of those semantic-based arguments, like a certain pointy-haired lawyer I know, because I am not in the mood for being cross-examined again.
Re: Video
[Boy that's an unpleasant chuckle his has. Absolutely cold and mirthless.]
What a dreadful thing to accuse someone of. Lawyering.
Video
Not a fan of lawyers, I'm guessing.
That can only mean two things. Either you've been pestered and humiliated enough times by one as I have...or else you've been accused of a crime and badly defended by one.
[Note she didn't say 'prosecuted'; prosecutors were completely different than lawyers where she came from, and a very important distinction to make.]
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Um... ( Is it really called a yimithingamajiggy? Everything she has known seems doubtful now. )
I don't think there's anyone you can report a kidnapping to.
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[...]
[. . .]
Are you telling me there are no local police in the area? Not even a scuffy-looking detective?
[That doesn't sound right to her.]
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I just don't think they care to hear of our complaints. That's all.
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How appalling. Disgraces to the profession.
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You have people who will miss you?
( She recalls what she said about someone being worried. ) I'm sorry.
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And for that matter, I think I'd like to have a word or two--[Or twenty thousand]--with these so-called "professionals". Which way is the police station?
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I don't know the answer to that. Sorry.
(At least she's polite about it.) Are you planning an assault on those responsible for bringing us here? I'm not sure they would appreciate hearing that.
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[...maybe a little.]
I only intend on giving them the sternest talking to. [Or yelling.] You have my word.
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(Really, it'd just be mean on the officers' part to hold her accountable for her behavior. Who would put a lady her age in a cell?)
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Save your pocket change.
I'll be fine.
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(She dips her head at that.) If you need help, you can always ask. We don't have to approach these things alone now that we all have been brought here against our will.
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[For all her protesting and countless issues with her current status, that comment alone was enough to ameliorate her temper. Somewhat. Enough for a firm nod in understanding. If they truly were co-captives in such an ordeal...]
I will remember that. Thank you.
video;
I won't take up any more of your time, but please. Don't be a stranger.
(She didn't even give a name. Sera's bad at this.)
video;
[ Elizabeth is trying to be helpful. ]
What Hotel do you mean? The Midnight Hotel?
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Not Midnight. Gatewater. Surely you must've heard of it; it's where the Hero of Heroes Grand Prix takes place. Lovely event. Shame about the way it all ended.
Re: video;
What's the Hero of Heroes Grand Prix? It sounds exciting!
video
Murder aside, it's a fantastic place for those amazing gentleman to be rewarded for all their hard work. Just because they're hiding behind a mask on a children's show doesn't mean they're any less of a hero, you know?
[She was not ashamed to call herself a fan; she and the Detective had even watched one of those programs together over tea in the past.]